- Sab, 18 Jun 2011, 05:12
#393553
Five Ways to Help Your Child Sleep Through the Night
Copyright © 2009, The Baby Sleep Site™, http://www.babysleepsite.com
Copyright Notice:
Copyright © The Baby Sleep Site™, 2009, All rights reserved.
No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, mechanical
or electronic, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system,
without permission in writing from the publisher.
Legal Notice:
While all attempts have been made to verify information provided in this publication, The Baby Sleep
Site™ does not assume any responsibility for errors, omissions, or contrary interpretation of the subject
matter herein.
While The Baby Sleep Site™ publishes what we consider to be safe tips and suggestions, all The Baby
Sleep Site™ content is made available on an as-is basis, with no warrantees expressed or implied. As
such, readers use any advice at their own risk. This publication is not intended for use as a source of
medical advice.
The Purchaser or Reader of this publication assumes responsibility for the use of these materials and
information. The Author assumes no responsibility or liability whatsoever on the behalf of any Purchaser
or Reader of these materials.
Five Ways to Help Your Child Sleep Through the Night Page | 1
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Introduction
Healthy sleep habits are very important for all of us. The same way sleep
deprivation and sleep fragmentation is hard on you, it is hard on your child. Well
rested babies make happy babies and well rested parents make happy parents and
happy parents make better parents.
This guide will share with you the five primary ways you can help your baby
sleep through the night. This guide is not meant to be a cure-all as everyone’s
situation is unique. What works for you may not work for someone else and what
works for many might not work for you! But, I hope this guide will begin to pave
the way for you and your family to get more sleep.
It might surprise you how much sleep your baby needs. Babies younger than
six months old, on average, need 14 hours of sleep in 24 hours. Babies 6-12
months need 13-14 and over a year old, 12-13. That is a lot of sleep! Adequate
sleep helps your baby in many ways and inadequate sleep has been shown to lead
to a multitude of problems. Here are just a few reasons to help your child sleep
enough:
Learning and Memory – Children who get enough sleep seem to learn more
rapidly than those who are tired. Have you ever tried to learn something new
when you’re tired? It’s hard! Babies and toddlers learn a vast amount of
information in a short amount of time.
Safety – Similar to how it is dangerous for you to drive in a severe sleepdeprived
state, it can be more problematic for your baby to go up and down
stairs, ride his tricycle, etc when he has not slept enough. I always notice my
boys are clumsier when they are tired.
Five Ways to Help Your Child Sleep Through the Night Page | 2
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Mood – This is a big one for a lot of people. While some children won’t get
too cranky, some get downright monstrous. Behavior problems have been
linked to sleep deprivation.
Illness – Your body’s immune system has more trouble fighting off illnesses
when it hasn’t gotten enough rest.
Obesity – A Harvard study concluded that too little sleep in babies and
toddlers might be linked to obesity. Our bodies release hormones leptin and
ghrelin to signal to our body we are full and hungry, respectively. When we
don't sleep enough, leptin levels go down and when you get a spike of
ghrelin, you will get hungry and most likely, eat when you should be
sleeping.
Depression – Studies are now finding that it was once thought that sleep
problems were a symptom of depression, but they are now considering that
sleep problems may precede depression. In other words, if you begin to have
substantial sleep problems, The American Academy of Sleep Medicine
(AASM) strongly recommends that you urgently go see a sleep specialist.
Depression is the most common form of mental health problem and it now
considered as common in children as it is adults. Each year 17 million people
suffer from depression and as many as 1 in 33 children may have
depression.
Now, that we know that children need a lot of sleep and why it’s important, let’s
get started on helping your child sleep through the night!
Five Ways to Help Your Child Sleep Through the Night Page | 3
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1. Sleep Routines
Do you have a routine for your child? Do you get up and go through the
same process throughout the day each and every day? Children thrive on routine
and knowing what to expect next. It gives them a sense of security to know their
life is not full of chaos. Okay, maybe your life is not chaotic just because you might
not have a bedtime or naptime routine. Fair enough. And, no, you do not have to
plan each day with the same tasks each and every day. That would be boring! But,
when done right, nap and bedtime routines will cue your child that sleep is near and
sets his/her expectations. When done right, your child might start to get sleepy and
eyes droopy before you even get to step 2.
A typical bedtime routine might include diaper and pajamas, a quiet game,
nursing/bottle/sippie (for babies younger than 1 or 2), brushing teeth, potty (if
applicable), book (or 2), singing and cuddling, and then lights out. A nap routine is
usually very similar to the bedtime routine, but usually shorter (about 10 minutes).
I purposely did not include a bath in my sample routine above for a few
reasons:
Some parents simply don’t have the time or desire to give a bath
every single night. You might work full time and not get home until
pretty close to bedtime.
Your child may have dry skin and even plain water can dry out his skin
more.
If your child is spirited, a bath can actually have the opposite effect
from relaxing your child and instead, give him a boost of energy.
Five Ways to Help Your Child Sleep Through the Night Page | 4
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Whatever your specific routine is, the individual steps are unimportant. It is
only your consistency that makes your routines successful or not. Sometimes all
that’s standing in the way of a child sleeping well is a good, consistent routine. But,
if it’s not enough, read more!
Five Ways to Help Your Child Sleep Through the Night Page | 5
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2. Early Bedtime
What about the advice to “Keep her up so she’ll sleep more at night”?
This might be advice that some of your family or friends give you and maybe
you have tried it and it hasn’t worked and that’s why you’re reading this. In my
experience, the most misunderstood fact when it comes to a baby’s sleep is the
idea that you should keep your baby up longer to get more sleep out of her. This
does not promote more sleep. In fact, many times it creates less!
It is very counter-intuitive, but sometimes the only thing standing in the
way of a better night’s sleep is an earlier bedtime. Although it is hard for many
parents to accept, I promise this is true.
The problem with a too-late bedtime is a child will get overtired. When we
are overtired (adults included), our bodies release hormones to fight fatigue. This
makes it hard for us to settle down and relax and sleep well. This is especially true
for your baby. An overtired baby will have more trouble falling asleep and, most
importantly, staying asleep.
The second part of the problem is that babies biologically (it’s in their
nature!) tend to be early risers in the early days. The world is an exciting place and
the first sign of daylight, they want to explore! Don’t worry. One day he will be a
teenager and you will have to drag him out of bed. But, for now, this means that
regardless of bedtime, you may not get to sleep in like you did before you had kids.
What does this mean to you? Remember when I said they need a lot of
sleep? Most babies one year and younger need 11-12 hours of sleep each night.
Toddlers 2-3 years old and younger need 10-11 hours of sleep each night. This
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means that if you put her to bed at 9pm, in hopes of getting her to sleep in, and
she still wakes at 7am (or earlier), she has just missed out on at least 1 or 2 hours
of sleep if she is, let’s say, 9 months old.
In addition, I have helped many parents battle a 5am wake-time. They have
been putting him to bed at 9pm and he has only been getting 8 hours of sleep.
They are afraid if they put him to bed at 8pm or earlier, at the time he should be
going to bed, he will rise at 4am or earlier. Like I said, it is counter-intuitive, but he
will not wake earlier than 5am. In fact, many times he will sleep LATER and most
likely sleep 11-12 hours, at night alone.
When he is overtired, many times it reveals itself in waking too early. 4-6 am
is lighter sleep (for everyone) anyway and when he is overtired, it will be even
harder for him to go back to sleep at this time.
The key to choosing the right bedtime is dependent on the time the last nap
ends and to make sure it’s not too long until bedtime such that she is too tired. I
always recommend a bedtime between 6 & 7 p.m. for babies 6 months and
younger, and between 6 & 8 p.m. for babies and toddlers until at least 18 months
old. It gets a little murky once they get to be over 18 months old, but I won’t get
into all those details here.
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3. Naps
Naps are an important component of sleeping through the night. It seems
strange, but the better the baby naps during the day, the better night sleep can be.
The less likely she is overtired come bedtime, the better she can settle down and
sleep better all night. She won’t be as restless and won’t have as many nightwakings.
Many people think they should limit naps, so they will be more tired at
night. This often backfires. They might crash due to exhaustion, but most likely will
either not sleep restfully, waking often, or will wake too early in the morning.
A nap is considered to be restorative if the baby is still (i.e. not moving like
in a swing or car or stroller) and the nap is one hour or more. It varies widely what
people believe to be a “normal” or “good” nap, so it’s important to know what the
average nap looks like. Some people think babies should sleep 3 hours each time
and others seem to think 30 minutes is enough. I remember one parent who would
keep her twins in their cribs for almost a whole afternoon (3-4 hours) because
that’s how long she thought they should sleep. We need to set our expectations
correctly, so we know what to expect from our babies.
It is normal for babies younger than 6 months old to take 3-4 short 30-45
minute catnaps. Before 6 months old, naps should begin to lengthen to 2-3 longer
naps. The 3rd nap is almost always just 30-45 minutes, just to help them get to
bedtime. However, some babies don’t have this nap at all and only have 2 longer
naps. The average amount of napping is 2-3 hours each day in this age group. The
3rd nap is considered “optional” and for many, it’s hard to get, so this is the only
nap that is considered okay to be in a stroller or otherwise “on the go”.
For babies younger than 9 months old, short naps are almost always due to
too much wake-time between naps. When a baby is overtired, he will have trouble
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settling down enough to nap well and make it past that first sleep transition around
the 30-45 minute mark. You might notice if you’re holding your baby during naps,
he stirs around this time but being in your arms, he re-settles and sleeps a lot
longer. It might frustrate you that when he’s not in your arms and in the crib,
instead, that he will just wake up. This is a common complaint. If your baby is
short-napping you, try to decrease the wake-time between naps. This wake-time
should ideally be just 1-2 hours, tops, when baby is under 6 months old and 2-3
hours, for older babies. When she isn’t overtired, she is better able to transition to
the next sleep phase.
When a baby is over 9 months old, short naps can either be due to too much
wake time or too little. Confusing, I know. If a baby is very sensitive to becoming
overtired (i.e. gets very cranky, quickly), I suggest decreasing his wake-time
between naps. If a baby seems sleepy, but is overall in okay spirits, try increasing
wake-time between naps before trying to shorten wake-time. This will take some
trial and error to see which works best.
Whatever changes you try to make to your baby’s schedule, do it for at least
3-4 days to a week to determine whether it’s working or not. You may need to go in
the other direction or need to fine-tune your schedule. I’d need to know your
specific situation (these are just general guidelines, of course), to give more advice
than that.
Average wake-time in this age group is 2-3 hours until he transitions to just
one midday nap (this usually happens around 15-18 months old and can be a
doozy!).
Also, around 6 months of age (some are ready by 5 months and some won’t
be ready until 7+ like my first-born), you should nap baby more on a schedule. You
should always use your baby as a guide, first and foremost, but in general, a
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schedule works wonders for babies who are having trouble napping (particularly
when the problem is short-napping in an older baby). A typical schedule might be
7(wake)-9(nap)-1(nap)-(4)(nap)-7(bed). The third nap is optional and usually a
short 30-45 minute catnap that most babies lose by 9 months old (if they had it at
all).
We all have internal clocks and if you get your baby used to sleeping at the
same time every day, this will make it easier for her to nap. Remember, our bodies
release hormones to fight fatigue, so if she is napping at different times every day,
her body will be fighting fatigue and make it even harder for her to nap when you
want her to.
If none of these things seem to help and your baby is either continuing to
fight his nap or takes short naps, you might need to encourage him to nap more.
You may want to look at sleep training him.
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4. Manage Sleep Associations
Is it a bad idea to rock your baby? Can it be harmful to your baby? It
depends. It is never a bad idea to cuddle your baby and give her lots of love and
affection! It's only when rocking your baby becomes a task difficult to sustain is it a
problem. It becomes harmful to the baby if you need to continually rock your baby
all night long, robbing her of adequate sleep.
How do you fall asleep?
What kind of routine do you do before you go to sleep each night? Do you
watch TV? Talk to your partner? Do you read a book? Do you sleep on a pillow?
These are the types of things you associate with going to sleep each night. What
would happen if your power was out and you couldn't watch the news or read your
book? Would you have trouble falling asleep? Maybe. Maybe not. Would you have
trouble going to sleep without your pillow? That might be more likely to give you
trouble. Some sleep associations are stronger than others. What if you went to
sleep with your pillow and covers and 2 hours later woke up and they were gone?
Would you be able to go back to sleep without looking for the pillow? Now let's look
at how this concept might affect your baby.
How does your child fall asleep?
Let's look at how many babies fall asleep. They might fall asleep while their
mother or father is rocking them in a rocking chair, bundled up and very cozy in
their parent's arms. Or, they may fall asleep nursing or sucking on a bottle of
breast milk or formula. Or, maybe they doze off with the simple use of a pacifier.
Minus the teeth issue with breast milk / formula later on, there isn't a problem with
any of these methods of falling asleep until it is a problem.
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From the time my son was an itty bitty baby, he loved to be walked, rocked
and nursed to sleep. He also loved napping in the moving swing. At first this was
not a problem. He would fall asleep quickly and we'd put him down. But, several
weeks later, I found myself rocking him for 2-3 hours each night to put him to bed.
He'd fall asleep easily, but then when I put him down he'd wake up! Ah! And, then
I'd need to repeat it every 1-2 hours when he woke up. It was exhausting! And, I
didn't understand why until later on when I learned about sleep associations.
The problem with sleep associations lies in the fact that your baby needs YOU
to recreate the environment in which they fell asleep. YOU become their "pillow"
and when they wake up through sleep transitions (that we ALL have!) and their
pillow is gone, they don't know how to go back to sleep.
So, the key is to allow them to go to sleep the same way they will wake up
periodically throughout the night. If they wake up briefly and find you gone or the
movement has stopped (as with my son) or their pacifier is gone or...they will wake
up more and have to call out to you so you can "help" them once again. "Find my
'pillow', mommy and daddy!!"
I want to reiterate that rocking your baby, using a pacifier, nursing or
drinking a bottle before bed, etc. are not bad things to do. If you don't mind
rocking your baby for 10 minutes and he falls asleep, you transfer him to his bed
(or take him to bed with you) and he sleeps all night, then there is no problem. It's
only when you can't keep up with the <insert sleep association> that it becomes a
problem.
Keep in mind that your sleep fragmentation that makes you exhausted is no
better for your baby than it is for you. If you are cranky, don't you think she will be
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too over time? I would have LOVED to rock my son to sleep every night and boy did
I try over and over (unintentionally -- just in my nature). We slipped back into bad
habits more times than I want to count, but it just became a hitch for him EVERY
time. In the end, I was able to continue to nurse him to sleep once he learned the
necessary skills to go BACK to sleep throughout the rest of the night, but he did
have to learn those first. With opportunity and practice we can all learn a new way
to sleep, even without a pillow!
The key is to break the sleep associations causing problems. Sure, some will
drop them on their own, eventually, but some won’t and there is no way to know
what will be a problem for a month or for years until you are there. It is also harder
to break habits the longer we have them. Have you ever tried to stop biting your
fingernails, smoking, or eating sweets after 9pm? The longer you’ve done it, the
harder it is to break the habit. The same goes for your child. The longer you wait,
the harder it might be for him to sleep well.
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5. Manage Night Feedings
The answer to the question of when a child can go all night without eating
varies widely among the “experts” and pediatricians alike. Some will say once they
double their birth weight while others will say 1-2 feedings up until 9 months is
normal. Some say they need to eat on demand every 3 to 6 hours until they are on
3 square solid meals per day.
Many will say by 6 months they can go all night without eating and others say by 3
or 4 months.
I personally believe that babies vary and so will the answer to this question
and thus it is up to you, who knows your baby best, (and your pediatrician) to
determine whether she needs to eat at night. It is important to note that it is not
normal for a baby to need to eat every hour or two once they are at least 3 months
old (or sooner). If this is happening, it is likely your baby has a sleep association
with a bottle or nursing (see above). Studies have shown that it has nothing to do
with nutrition or solids, but a developmental milestone, so please don’t start solids
only to lengthen sleep.
I typically err on the side of caution that a baby needs to eat at night 1-2
times up through 9 months or even a year. I am always surprised when people tell
me their pediatrician told them their baby no longer needs to eat at night at just 3
months old. They have small tummies and I know adults who have trouble going 12
hours without eating! Obviously, some babies are ready this early, but not all of
them.
I, personally, night-weaned my eldest son when he stopped going right back
to sleep at 4 a.m. and decided it was disrupting his sleep too much. However, even
after night-weaning, he continued to wake in the 5 o’clock hour up through a year
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old 3-4 times per week. I tried to fully night-wean him, but in the end decided it
was best for both of us to feed him and then put him back down for another 1-2
hours. He was finally able to go all night on his own around his first birthday. My
philosophy is to sleep train to fix problems, but not make a child go hungry if they
can’t comfortably go all night without nutrition.
For optimum sleep at night, choose zero, one or two times to feed your child
and don’t at any other time in the night. You are choosing the number of times
based on what you know about YOUR child. The theory behind this is that you are
helping your baby feel hungry at appropriate times at night. Imagine you have
lunch every day at 11 a.m. Naturally, after some time, you will be used to eating at
that time every single day out of habit. Now, imagine, you want to start having
lunch at 12:30 p.m., instead. It might take some time, but your body will adjust
and you can move your lunch hour.
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Concluding Remarks
I hope that you have found this pamphlet helpful and that your baby is on a good path to
healthy sleeping. If your little one is still struggling, keep in mind that all babies are unique and
what works for one may not work for another. This book deals with basic sleeping issues and
solutions. If you think your child needs more help for a specific challenge, trust your instincts, as
you know your baby best.
The Baby Sleep Site™ is here for you, providing customized baby sleep solutions and strong
community. Sometimes you’re just too tired or too close to your situation to solve your issue on
your own. I’m here to assist you in your journey, as it’s my goal to help you and your baby sleep
better.
Copyright © 2009, The Baby Sleep Site™, http://www.babysleepsite.com
Copyright Notice:
Copyright © The Baby Sleep Site™, 2009, All rights reserved.
No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, mechanical
or electronic, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system,
without permission in writing from the publisher.
Legal Notice:
While all attempts have been made to verify information provided in this publication, The Baby Sleep
Site™ does not assume any responsibility for errors, omissions, or contrary interpretation of the subject
matter herein.
While The Baby Sleep Site™ publishes what we consider to be safe tips and suggestions, all The Baby
Sleep Site™ content is made available on an as-is basis, with no warrantees expressed or implied. As
such, readers use any advice at their own risk. This publication is not intended for use as a source of
medical advice.
The Purchaser or Reader of this publication assumes responsibility for the use of these materials and
information. The Author assumes no responsibility or liability whatsoever on the behalf of any Purchaser
or Reader of these materials.
Five Ways to Help Your Child Sleep Through the Night Page | 1
Copyright © 2009, The Baby Sleep Site™, http://www.babysleepsite.com
Introduction
Healthy sleep habits are very important for all of us. The same way sleep
deprivation and sleep fragmentation is hard on you, it is hard on your child. Well
rested babies make happy babies and well rested parents make happy parents and
happy parents make better parents.
This guide will share with you the five primary ways you can help your baby
sleep through the night. This guide is not meant to be a cure-all as everyone’s
situation is unique. What works for you may not work for someone else and what
works for many might not work for you! But, I hope this guide will begin to pave
the way for you and your family to get more sleep.
It might surprise you how much sleep your baby needs. Babies younger than
six months old, on average, need 14 hours of sleep in 24 hours. Babies 6-12
months need 13-14 and over a year old, 12-13. That is a lot of sleep! Adequate
sleep helps your baby in many ways and inadequate sleep has been shown to lead
to a multitude of problems. Here are just a few reasons to help your child sleep
enough:
Learning and Memory – Children who get enough sleep seem to learn more
rapidly than those who are tired. Have you ever tried to learn something new
when you’re tired? It’s hard! Babies and toddlers learn a vast amount of
information in a short amount of time.
Safety – Similar to how it is dangerous for you to drive in a severe sleepdeprived
state, it can be more problematic for your baby to go up and down
stairs, ride his tricycle, etc when he has not slept enough. I always notice my
boys are clumsier when they are tired.
Five Ways to Help Your Child Sleep Through the Night Page | 2
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Mood – This is a big one for a lot of people. While some children won’t get
too cranky, some get downright monstrous. Behavior problems have been
linked to sleep deprivation.
Illness – Your body’s immune system has more trouble fighting off illnesses
when it hasn’t gotten enough rest.
Obesity – A Harvard study concluded that too little sleep in babies and
toddlers might be linked to obesity. Our bodies release hormones leptin and
ghrelin to signal to our body we are full and hungry, respectively. When we
don't sleep enough, leptin levels go down and when you get a spike of
ghrelin, you will get hungry and most likely, eat when you should be
sleeping.
Depression – Studies are now finding that it was once thought that sleep
problems were a symptom of depression, but they are now considering that
sleep problems may precede depression. In other words, if you begin to have
substantial sleep problems, The American Academy of Sleep Medicine
(AASM) strongly recommends that you urgently go see a sleep specialist.
Depression is the most common form of mental health problem and it now
considered as common in children as it is adults. Each year 17 million people
suffer from depression and as many as 1 in 33 children may have
depression.
Now, that we know that children need a lot of sleep and why it’s important, let’s
get started on helping your child sleep through the night!
Five Ways to Help Your Child Sleep Through the Night Page | 3
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1. Sleep Routines
Do you have a routine for your child? Do you get up and go through the
same process throughout the day each and every day? Children thrive on routine
and knowing what to expect next. It gives them a sense of security to know their
life is not full of chaos. Okay, maybe your life is not chaotic just because you might
not have a bedtime or naptime routine. Fair enough. And, no, you do not have to
plan each day with the same tasks each and every day. That would be boring! But,
when done right, nap and bedtime routines will cue your child that sleep is near and
sets his/her expectations. When done right, your child might start to get sleepy and
eyes droopy before you even get to step 2.
A typical bedtime routine might include diaper and pajamas, a quiet game,
nursing/bottle/sippie (for babies younger than 1 or 2), brushing teeth, potty (if
applicable), book (or 2), singing and cuddling, and then lights out. A nap routine is
usually very similar to the bedtime routine, but usually shorter (about 10 minutes).
I purposely did not include a bath in my sample routine above for a few
reasons:
Some parents simply don’t have the time or desire to give a bath
every single night. You might work full time and not get home until
pretty close to bedtime.
Your child may have dry skin and even plain water can dry out his skin
more.
If your child is spirited, a bath can actually have the opposite effect
from relaxing your child and instead, give him a boost of energy.
Five Ways to Help Your Child Sleep Through the Night Page | 4
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Whatever your specific routine is, the individual steps are unimportant. It is
only your consistency that makes your routines successful or not. Sometimes all
that’s standing in the way of a child sleeping well is a good, consistent routine. But,
if it’s not enough, read more!
Five Ways to Help Your Child Sleep Through the Night Page | 5
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2. Early Bedtime
What about the advice to “Keep her up so she’ll sleep more at night”?
This might be advice that some of your family or friends give you and maybe
you have tried it and it hasn’t worked and that’s why you’re reading this. In my
experience, the most misunderstood fact when it comes to a baby’s sleep is the
idea that you should keep your baby up longer to get more sleep out of her. This
does not promote more sleep. In fact, many times it creates less!
It is very counter-intuitive, but sometimes the only thing standing in the
way of a better night’s sleep is an earlier bedtime. Although it is hard for many
parents to accept, I promise this is true.
The problem with a too-late bedtime is a child will get overtired. When we
are overtired (adults included), our bodies release hormones to fight fatigue. This
makes it hard for us to settle down and relax and sleep well. This is especially true
for your baby. An overtired baby will have more trouble falling asleep and, most
importantly, staying asleep.
The second part of the problem is that babies biologically (it’s in their
nature!) tend to be early risers in the early days. The world is an exciting place and
the first sign of daylight, they want to explore! Don’t worry. One day he will be a
teenager and you will have to drag him out of bed. But, for now, this means that
regardless of bedtime, you may not get to sleep in like you did before you had kids.
What does this mean to you? Remember when I said they need a lot of
sleep? Most babies one year and younger need 11-12 hours of sleep each night.
Toddlers 2-3 years old and younger need 10-11 hours of sleep each night. This
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means that if you put her to bed at 9pm, in hopes of getting her to sleep in, and
she still wakes at 7am (or earlier), she has just missed out on at least 1 or 2 hours
of sleep if she is, let’s say, 9 months old.
In addition, I have helped many parents battle a 5am wake-time. They have
been putting him to bed at 9pm and he has only been getting 8 hours of sleep.
They are afraid if they put him to bed at 8pm or earlier, at the time he should be
going to bed, he will rise at 4am or earlier. Like I said, it is counter-intuitive, but he
will not wake earlier than 5am. In fact, many times he will sleep LATER and most
likely sleep 11-12 hours, at night alone.
When he is overtired, many times it reveals itself in waking too early. 4-6 am
is lighter sleep (for everyone) anyway and when he is overtired, it will be even
harder for him to go back to sleep at this time.
The key to choosing the right bedtime is dependent on the time the last nap
ends and to make sure it’s not too long until bedtime such that she is too tired. I
always recommend a bedtime between 6 & 7 p.m. for babies 6 months and
younger, and between 6 & 8 p.m. for babies and toddlers until at least 18 months
old. It gets a little murky once they get to be over 18 months old, but I won’t get
into all those details here.
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3. Naps
Naps are an important component of sleeping through the night. It seems
strange, but the better the baby naps during the day, the better night sleep can be.
The less likely she is overtired come bedtime, the better she can settle down and
sleep better all night. She won’t be as restless and won’t have as many nightwakings.
Many people think they should limit naps, so they will be more tired at
night. This often backfires. They might crash due to exhaustion, but most likely will
either not sleep restfully, waking often, or will wake too early in the morning.
A nap is considered to be restorative if the baby is still (i.e. not moving like
in a swing or car or stroller) and the nap is one hour or more. It varies widely what
people believe to be a “normal” or “good” nap, so it’s important to know what the
average nap looks like. Some people think babies should sleep 3 hours each time
and others seem to think 30 minutes is enough. I remember one parent who would
keep her twins in their cribs for almost a whole afternoon (3-4 hours) because
that’s how long she thought they should sleep. We need to set our expectations
correctly, so we know what to expect from our babies.
It is normal for babies younger than 6 months old to take 3-4 short 30-45
minute catnaps. Before 6 months old, naps should begin to lengthen to 2-3 longer
naps. The 3rd nap is almost always just 30-45 minutes, just to help them get to
bedtime. However, some babies don’t have this nap at all and only have 2 longer
naps. The average amount of napping is 2-3 hours each day in this age group. The
3rd nap is considered “optional” and for many, it’s hard to get, so this is the only
nap that is considered okay to be in a stroller or otherwise “on the go”.
For babies younger than 9 months old, short naps are almost always due to
too much wake-time between naps. When a baby is overtired, he will have trouble
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settling down enough to nap well and make it past that first sleep transition around
the 30-45 minute mark. You might notice if you’re holding your baby during naps,
he stirs around this time but being in your arms, he re-settles and sleeps a lot
longer. It might frustrate you that when he’s not in your arms and in the crib,
instead, that he will just wake up. This is a common complaint. If your baby is
short-napping you, try to decrease the wake-time between naps. This wake-time
should ideally be just 1-2 hours, tops, when baby is under 6 months old and 2-3
hours, for older babies. When she isn’t overtired, she is better able to transition to
the next sleep phase.
When a baby is over 9 months old, short naps can either be due to too much
wake time or too little. Confusing, I know. If a baby is very sensitive to becoming
overtired (i.e. gets very cranky, quickly), I suggest decreasing his wake-time
between naps. If a baby seems sleepy, but is overall in okay spirits, try increasing
wake-time between naps before trying to shorten wake-time. This will take some
trial and error to see which works best.
Whatever changes you try to make to your baby’s schedule, do it for at least
3-4 days to a week to determine whether it’s working or not. You may need to go in
the other direction or need to fine-tune your schedule. I’d need to know your
specific situation (these are just general guidelines, of course), to give more advice
than that.
Average wake-time in this age group is 2-3 hours until he transitions to just
one midday nap (this usually happens around 15-18 months old and can be a
doozy!).
Also, around 6 months of age (some are ready by 5 months and some won’t
be ready until 7+ like my first-born), you should nap baby more on a schedule. You
should always use your baby as a guide, first and foremost, but in general, a
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schedule works wonders for babies who are having trouble napping (particularly
when the problem is short-napping in an older baby). A typical schedule might be
7(wake)-9(nap)-1(nap)-(4)(nap)-7(bed). The third nap is optional and usually a
short 30-45 minute catnap that most babies lose by 9 months old (if they had it at
all).
We all have internal clocks and if you get your baby used to sleeping at the
same time every day, this will make it easier for her to nap. Remember, our bodies
release hormones to fight fatigue, so if she is napping at different times every day,
her body will be fighting fatigue and make it even harder for her to nap when you
want her to.
If none of these things seem to help and your baby is either continuing to
fight his nap or takes short naps, you might need to encourage him to nap more.
You may want to look at sleep training him.
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4. Manage Sleep Associations
Is it a bad idea to rock your baby? Can it be harmful to your baby? It
depends. It is never a bad idea to cuddle your baby and give her lots of love and
affection! It's only when rocking your baby becomes a task difficult to sustain is it a
problem. It becomes harmful to the baby if you need to continually rock your baby
all night long, robbing her of adequate sleep.
How do you fall asleep?
What kind of routine do you do before you go to sleep each night? Do you
watch TV? Talk to your partner? Do you read a book? Do you sleep on a pillow?
These are the types of things you associate with going to sleep each night. What
would happen if your power was out and you couldn't watch the news or read your
book? Would you have trouble falling asleep? Maybe. Maybe not. Would you have
trouble going to sleep without your pillow? That might be more likely to give you
trouble. Some sleep associations are stronger than others. What if you went to
sleep with your pillow and covers and 2 hours later woke up and they were gone?
Would you be able to go back to sleep without looking for the pillow? Now let's look
at how this concept might affect your baby.
How does your child fall asleep?
Let's look at how many babies fall asleep. They might fall asleep while their
mother or father is rocking them in a rocking chair, bundled up and very cozy in
their parent's arms. Or, they may fall asleep nursing or sucking on a bottle of
breast milk or formula. Or, maybe they doze off with the simple use of a pacifier.
Minus the teeth issue with breast milk / formula later on, there isn't a problem with
any of these methods of falling asleep until it is a problem.
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From the time my son was an itty bitty baby, he loved to be walked, rocked
and nursed to sleep. He also loved napping in the moving swing. At first this was
not a problem. He would fall asleep quickly and we'd put him down. But, several
weeks later, I found myself rocking him for 2-3 hours each night to put him to bed.
He'd fall asleep easily, but then when I put him down he'd wake up! Ah! And, then
I'd need to repeat it every 1-2 hours when he woke up. It was exhausting! And, I
didn't understand why until later on when I learned about sleep associations.
The problem with sleep associations lies in the fact that your baby needs YOU
to recreate the environment in which they fell asleep. YOU become their "pillow"
and when they wake up through sleep transitions (that we ALL have!) and their
pillow is gone, they don't know how to go back to sleep.
So, the key is to allow them to go to sleep the same way they will wake up
periodically throughout the night. If they wake up briefly and find you gone or the
movement has stopped (as with my son) or their pacifier is gone or...they will wake
up more and have to call out to you so you can "help" them once again. "Find my
'pillow', mommy and daddy!!"
I want to reiterate that rocking your baby, using a pacifier, nursing or
drinking a bottle before bed, etc. are not bad things to do. If you don't mind
rocking your baby for 10 minutes and he falls asleep, you transfer him to his bed
(or take him to bed with you) and he sleeps all night, then there is no problem. It's
only when you can't keep up with the <insert sleep association> that it becomes a
problem.
Keep in mind that your sleep fragmentation that makes you exhausted is no
better for your baby than it is for you. If you are cranky, don't you think she will be
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too over time? I would have LOVED to rock my son to sleep every night and boy did
I try over and over (unintentionally -- just in my nature). We slipped back into bad
habits more times than I want to count, but it just became a hitch for him EVERY
time. In the end, I was able to continue to nurse him to sleep once he learned the
necessary skills to go BACK to sleep throughout the rest of the night, but he did
have to learn those first. With opportunity and practice we can all learn a new way
to sleep, even without a pillow!
The key is to break the sleep associations causing problems. Sure, some will
drop them on their own, eventually, but some won’t and there is no way to know
what will be a problem for a month or for years until you are there. It is also harder
to break habits the longer we have them. Have you ever tried to stop biting your
fingernails, smoking, or eating sweets after 9pm? The longer you’ve done it, the
harder it is to break the habit. The same goes for your child. The longer you wait,
the harder it might be for him to sleep well.
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5. Manage Night Feedings
The answer to the question of when a child can go all night without eating
varies widely among the “experts” and pediatricians alike. Some will say once they
double their birth weight while others will say 1-2 feedings up until 9 months is
normal. Some say they need to eat on demand every 3 to 6 hours until they are on
3 square solid meals per day.
Many will say by 6 months they can go all night without eating and others say by 3
or 4 months.
I personally believe that babies vary and so will the answer to this question
and thus it is up to you, who knows your baby best, (and your pediatrician) to
determine whether she needs to eat at night. It is important to note that it is not
normal for a baby to need to eat every hour or two once they are at least 3 months
old (or sooner). If this is happening, it is likely your baby has a sleep association
with a bottle or nursing (see above). Studies have shown that it has nothing to do
with nutrition or solids, but a developmental milestone, so please don’t start solids
only to lengthen sleep.
I typically err on the side of caution that a baby needs to eat at night 1-2
times up through 9 months or even a year. I am always surprised when people tell
me their pediatrician told them their baby no longer needs to eat at night at just 3
months old. They have small tummies and I know adults who have trouble going 12
hours without eating! Obviously, some babies are ready this early, but not all of
them.
I, personally, night-weaned my eldest son when he stopped going right back
to sleep at 4 a.m. and decided it was disrupting his sleep too much. However, even
after night-weaning, he continued to wake in the 5 o’clock hour up through a year
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old 3-4 times per week. I tried to fully night-wean him, but in the end decided it
was best for both of us to feed him and then put him back down for another 1-2
hours. He was finally able to go all night on his own around his first birthday. My
philosophy is to sleep train to fix problems, but not make a child go hungry if they
can’t comfortably go all night without nutrition.
For optimum sleep at night, choose zero, one or two times to feed your child
and don’t at any other time in the night. You are choosing the number of times
based on what you know about YOUR child. The theory behind this is that you are
helping your baby feel hungry at appropriate times at night. Imagine you have
lunch every day at 11 a.m. Naturally, after some time, you will be used to eating at
that time every single day out of habit. Now, imagine, you want to start having
lunch at 12:30 p.m., instead. It might take some time, but your body will adjust
and you can move your lunch hour.
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Concluding Remarks
I hope that you have found this pamphlet helpful and that your baby is on a good path to
healthy sleeping. If your little one is still struggling, keep in mind that all babies are unique and
what works for one may not work for another. This book deals with basic sleeping issues and
solutions. If you think your child needs more help for a specific challenge, trust your instincts, as
you know your baby best.
The Baby Sleep Site™ is here for you, providing customized baby sleep solutions and strong
community. Sometimes you’re just too tired or too close to your situation to solve your issue on
your own. I’m here to assist you in your journey, as it’s my goal to help you and your baby sleep
better.
Psicóloga
Creadora de DormirSinLlorar.com (2004)
Coautora del libro Dormir sin llorar (2014)
Monitora de Lactancia Materna
Telf. (0034)600425102
). Y para mí no. Lo que hay que hacer es observar al propio hijo y disfrutarlo.
